victim or master?

:
each action that you repeat, or each thought – because thought is also a subtle action in the mind – becomes more and more powerful. Then you are in the grip of it. Then you are imprisoned in the habit. Then you live the life of an imprisoned man, a slave. And the imprisonment is very subtle: it is of your habits and conditioning and the actions that you have done. It is all around your body and you are entangled in it, but you go on thinking and befooling yourself that you are doing it. When you get angry, you think you are doing it. You rationalize it and you say that the situation demanded it: “I had to be angry, otherwise the child would go astray; if I were not angry then things would go wrong, then the office would be in a chaos, then servants won’t listen; I had to be angry to manage things, to discipline the child. To put the wife in her right place I had to be angry.” These are rationalizations. That’s how your ego goes on thinking that you are still the boss, but you are not. Anger comes out of old patterns, out of the past. And when anger comes you try to find an excuse for it.
but through these rationalisations you do not feel yourself a victim but a master

and that*s a pity ....